Permission

Permission Jokes

Priest

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"

Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"

Gun

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

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  • Orphan

    Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

    Parent Signature: ______

    Privilege

    "I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."

    Rape

    I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

    Poster

    A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

    Refrigerator

    What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans hate school?

    No field trips. Parent signature_____________.

    Orphan

    Why can't an orphan go to a field trip?

    Parent's signature: ___________

    Orphan

    Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.

    Sister

    Yo, sis, come here.

    Sis: What?

    Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?

    Sis: Yup.

    Me: Can I go?

    Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.

    Me: I love you.

    Funeral

    I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

    And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

    And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

    Orphan

    Why couldn't the orphan go on a school trip?

    A parent's signature was required.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

    Because they don't need permission from their parents.