Crime jokes
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
I have a body count of 7.
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
Why did the rapist not get sentenced?
Because rule 69 said so 🤣🤣
Who robs and breaks into people's houses?
My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was a registered six offender.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What do you call a man with no legs?
Hangman.
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying ten pounds of crack.
I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.
Jorden Calerendiá.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!