Crime jokes
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"
What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
It's not easy to make good pedophilia jokes, because it's a very touchy subject.
This account is run by a peadophile.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.