Country Jokes

A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.

The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?

Why is the UK bad at chess?

Because they have no queen

What do you call a guy with a long chin?

Chino-Chinese

What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?

You get no-eye-deer.

A black and white image shows a large T-Rex holding a machine gun standing next to a Jeep-like vehicle and some soldiers. The text says, "Historical footage of the last T-Rex serving his country in WWI". Another text below states, "But isn't that a Jeep? And the T-Rex is holding a Browning M2? Which wasn't used until 1933... So I think this footage is actually of WW2".

Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?

Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)

What's America's no. 1 class?

Target practice.

When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗

What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.

What's America's best class?

Gun 101.

yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of africa leftovers

Which country can swim?

Finland. Get it? Fin Land?

I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.

Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.