On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
Country Jokes
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.
What do you call a guy with a long chin?
Chino-Chinese
What do you call an African that is not hungry? Dead.
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
