Country jokes

What type of tea do you drink with the Queen of England?

Royal-tea.

East Richmond has a train station at East Richmond, but Richmond is better, why?

Why are people in Japan so thin?

Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.

Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

And together we will make America great again.

You were never great in the first place.

Where did George go?

Washington, D.C.

Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-

My buddies think I'm on the lake.

Boss thinks I've been sick for days.

And mama's probably on her way

'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.

I've been a million places,

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Took a trip down memory lane.

Checked into hotel heartbreak.

Passed rock bottom on the way

Without leaving my living room.

I've been a million places

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Yeah

I've been gone.

All the clothes are on the floor

All the mail's by the door

All the whiskey bottles in my bed.

All the dishes in the sink

All the gas is in the tank

All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

Gone

Why is the UK bad at chess?

Because they have no queen.

What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?

The Hunger Games!

"North America, best America."

Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.

An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.

He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.

Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.

"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War

Canada.

What do you call a guy with a long chin?

Chino-Chinese

Kenya believe it?

We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.