Country jokes
Texas 😂😂😂😂
Why are you sad? Because you are in Morocco, ha ha.
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
Brazil is a joke.
Yo forehead is so big it couldn't even fit in the United States.
Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.
I dislike the UK with a great taste.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
It's a RUF life in Africa.
Your hairline goes back to China.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."