Country jokes
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
What is Mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross-country.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
USS Liberty. Never forget.
It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.
Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?
Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...
Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
It's a Italy day outside the fields.
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen and two towers.
Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.
Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.
Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.
Official flag of Japan? The Sun.
Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.