Country jokes
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?
"North America, best America."
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."
Africa.
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
What is China's favorite restaurant?
The Pet Store.
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”