Country jokes
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
What do you call a country's booty?
Its bottom line.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
There is a country in Africa. It's called Djibouti. It has a crack in it!
What do you call a racist community? America.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Why can't Americans play chess?
They lost two towers.
What is a Mexican's favorite type of dog?
A Chihuahua.
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.