Country jokes
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
What's America's no. 1 class?
Target practice.
Afghanistan.
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."
Brazil is a joke.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
In England, for every church, there are two pubs.
In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
Question: How bad is German WiFi?
Answer: It's the wurst.
The Americans.