Country jokes
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
"North America, best America."
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
Africa.
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
What is China's favorite restaurant?
The Pet Store.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!