Cop jokes
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
let me see it
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
Officer: Hi, how high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.
Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.
Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.
What is red, white, and blue all over?
A dead cop.
If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.