Badge jokes

Boss: You're fired.

Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*

Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?

My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."

I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!