Cop jokes
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None, he fell.
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.