Conversation Jokes

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?

"Nunya business!"

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

See what had happen was

A picture of Jack Sparrow from "Pirates of the Caribbean" with different facial expressions showing his surprise while a text reads: "When you're having a whole conversation with yourself in the shower and someone knocks on the door".

Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

No, I'm already looking at one.

What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?

I'mma cashew outside!

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

When we talk of our X, some people talk of their XXX. 🤣

The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?

Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.

Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.

"Princess, let's talk!"

Let's chat here, Prince.

I'm so frickin' bored! Please, somebody want to chat? PLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!

I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?

Person B: Let me check.

Person B: It's greenglish!

My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*