Conversation jokes
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."
What does one emo kid say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Knock knock. Who’s there? We ask the questions!!!!!!!!
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.