Conversation jokes
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
A black man entered a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender says, "That looks exotic, where’d you get it?"
"Africa," the parrot responded.
Knock knock. Who's there? Abajo. Abajo who? I have abajo of water with me.
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
Hey woah man, and Alya how are you guys? Oh and hbu jk master? How is life right now? Is it hard? You wanna talk?
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."