Comparison jokes

What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?

The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was Mount Chiliad.

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

Your hairline is so bad that KSI's hairline actually looks normal.

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!

Yo mama so fat, her future is brighter than VY Canis Majoris!

What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?

I hate this website. It's retarded and 4chan is better.

Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.

What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?

While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.

What is the difference between a human and a tree?

A human can walk and a house can walk to a tree, walk home, walk, walk, and walk, walk.

What is the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage. :)

What's the difference between me and you?

Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-

How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?

Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."

Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.

Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."

What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!