Comparison jokes
You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
Song by John Rizk
The only thing longer than the Great Wall of China is your hairline.
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?
My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
You are so cat.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.
What's the difference between a knife and me?
One has a point.
Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and feel better.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
1, 2 you built like a dork.
3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.