Comparison jokes
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
My boner had better structural support than the Twin Towers.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.