Comparison jokes

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.

What does Biden do? He does you.

What does do something useful unlike you?

Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!

You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and feel better.

What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?

Answer: It tastes better.

Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was Mount Chiliad.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?

The piranha doesn't wear makeup.

What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?

Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!

Your hairline is so bad that KSI's hairline actually looks normal.

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!

Yo mama so fat, her future is brighter than VY Canis Majoris!

What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?