Comparison jokes

You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.

Song by John Rizk

What's the difference between a knife and me?

One has a point.

You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.

What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and feel better.

Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?

Answer: It tastes better.

What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?

The piranha doesn't wear makeup.

Your hairline is so bad that KSI's hairline actually looks normal.

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?

The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was Mount Chiliad.

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!

Yo mama so fat, her future is brighter than VY Canis Majoris!

What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?

I hate this website. It's retarded and 4chan is better.

What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?

While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.

Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.