Comparison jokes
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
Song by John Rizk
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
What's the difference between a knife and me?
One has a point.
Memes
Yo mama jokes are so old, like your mom.
The only thing longer than the Great Wall of China is your hairline.
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
You are so cat.
Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and feel better.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.