Comparison jokes
What does a pickle look like a p*nis?
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?
A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Your forehead is built like the Indian flag.
Memes
Who would you choose?
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.
What is the difference between you and Iron Man? You have a wonky hairline.
1, 2 you built like a dork.
3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
The only thing longer than the Great Wall of China is your hairline.
Yo mama jokes are so old, like your mom.
You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
Song by John Rizk
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
You are so cat.
What's the difference between a knife and me?
One has a point.
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.