Comparison jokes
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
The only thing longer than the Great Wall of China is your hairline.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
Your forehead is like my dad.
Non-existent.
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.