Autistic jokes
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
What Minecraft mob do autistic people relate to the most?
The Enderman.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
What do autistic kids and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms.
I hate autistic people.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
I’m autistic, and I don’t approve of you guys making fun of the 75,000,000 other people.
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.