Comparison jokes
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.
You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
Song by John Rizk
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
You versing your spoiled brother be like:
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
Roses are red, Velvet is blue, So are violets.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
Yo mama so fat, her future is brighter than VY Canis Majoris!
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."