Comparison jokes
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?
A. The Jello has a higher IQ.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.