Comparison jokes
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.
You think my face is ugly? Yours is more.
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.