Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's?
They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
Whats the difference between NASA and religion NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
300? You are a 3.0.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
What's the difference between a knife and me?
One has a point.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.