Comparison jokes

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.

Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!

What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?

None, because they both forget a lot.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.

The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."

He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.

Trees are just bushes with lift kits.

What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.

Ya forehead so big Sakura's forehead seemed small.

The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression f**ks you harder.

Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!

- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!

Better than Elanga?

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!

What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?

Geico saves you more.

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?

I beat both of them.

You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.

What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.