Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
Memes
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
Girls: π *Period* βοΈπ
Men: πΏ *Growth* πΏπΏπΏ
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
The Twin Towers collapsed faster than my grandma did.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!
Your hairline is so bald, Mr. Clean even said it's bald!
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesnβt last long for people.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!