Come Jokes

I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer And then It hit me

My name is Jafar I come from afar There's a bomb in my car Allahul Akbar

YO THREE KID'S PLAY HIDE IN GO SEEK THEIR NAME'S ARE TROUBLE MANNERS AND SHUTUP SHUTUP HIT THE POLICE STATION MANNERS HIT THE TRASHCAN TROUBLE IS THE SEEKER WHEN THEY GO AND HIDE AND ALL THAT SHIT THE POLICE MAN COME'S UP TO SHUT UP AND GOES HEY KID WHAT'S YOUR NAME WELL SHUTUP LOOK'S AT HIM AND GOES SHUTUP POLICE MAN SAY'S EXCUSE ME KID WERE'S YOUR MANNERS AT SHUT UP GOES OH MANNERS IN THE TRASH POLICE MAN GOES OH MANNERS IN THE TRASH AND THEN POLICE MAN GOES HEY KID ARE U LOOKING FOR TROUBLE THEN SHUTUP GOES AND SAY'S NO TROUBLE'S LOOKING FOR ME

One day I was on my phone then I got a text message from my Girl Friend, "Hey Sexy boy wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean..." then I just stopped and froze I read the message I said, "Yeah sure..." she replied really fast, "Theres going to be a few people there ok." but i didn't read the next message... she said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." but i didn't read it I walked into her house but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise and it sounded like HER!! so I hide behind the couch and I looked through the open door and saw somthing I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Little Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher said, "okay everyone, Tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet". Johnny didn't know the alphabet so he decided to ask his family. He walked in the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mamma, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV and he says, "Tommy what's the Second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman". So He went to his Grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma what's the third letter of the Alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher come to Johnny she says, "Johnny what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now" - Johnny "Who do you think you are young man to talk to someone like me that way?" - teacher "I'm Batman" - Johnny The teacher whups his ass and little johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse that he accidentally cussed to his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says,”What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?” The boy cries. Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says,”You gonna tell your mom?”, the little boy says, Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over.

If there was a quiz on midgets here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it: 1. When midgets get High on any drug, do they get high or medium? 2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet 3. Are Midgets related to snow whites 7 Dwarfs? 4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario? 5. Was this funny?

Bippity Boppity Boop Bill Cosby's coming for you.

why do they put barcodes on the ships in norway why? so when they come into port they can scan-de-navian

The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says "I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"

Dad: boy Come sit in this hole while I brace the ground Boy: I don't want to see grandpa he scares me

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody- *pulls out noose* 'COME HANG'... *pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

Your walking one day and a little kid about 5-6 years old comes up to you asking, "What's a condom"? You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell to them.