Come jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but it eventually came back to me.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home.

Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.

You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!

Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?

"Here comes the airplane!"

Karma is like rape.

What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.

Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.

A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.

The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!

Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...

Rape...hurt...and sell them!

Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!