Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Come Jokes
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
These jokes are old, come up with something new!
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?
"Here comes the airplane!"
