Children jokes
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
Daughter: Dad.
Dad: Yes honey?
Daughter: I'm lesbian.
Dad: Ok.
Daughter 2: Dad.
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.
Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?
Son: I do...
My parents love me.
There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.