Ford jokes

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?

"Stand" Ford University. :3

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

Fat, mean, and probably inbred.

Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?

Because it said, "Focus."

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.

John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."

Fiancee: "Break a leg!"

A Ford?

What did President Ford say when he met Betty?

"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."

Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.

-JFK

My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.