Can jokes

Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?

What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?

"Thanks for coming."

How is slavery different from Pokémon?

The types you can have.

Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"

Spiderman: "Yes."

Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."

Spiderman: "Why?"

Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"

Me: power button.

I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.

What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.

in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind

What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?

"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.