Can jokes

How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.

I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.

A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."

Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?

You can shut the book up.

How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.

How can toilet paper decorate your house?

Shit sticks everywhere.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"

Spiderman: "Yes."

Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."

Spiderman: "Why?"

Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."

What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.

in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."