Can Jokes

Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-" me: power button

why do orphans kill people so they can finnaly be wanted

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

Why aren’t apple chargers called apple juice. Also How do u throw away trash cans?

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! Good luck 😝- “I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.”

For some reason when my mom eat hot dogs she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son can anyone tell me why ?

I asked the gym instructor

"can you teach me to do the splits?",

"How flexible are you?" He asked

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind

What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed Thanks for coming

A guy and girl had sex poem competition. Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine." Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep. There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patient to sleep, so I unplug them.

mom tells her son to go to the other kid to walk to the kid just standing still to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car(but her son was blind the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap and the kid died because he couldn't hear he was deaf)