Can jokes

Why do orphans go to church so much?

So they can have someone to call father.

I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.

A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?

A rock can break a glass ceiling.

Man: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.

Man: Oh, here's your rope.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?

Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!

Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!

People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.

They can stay in their living room.

My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.

What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂