Can jokes

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

How are guys and tile floors alike?

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.

What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?

Your virginity.

A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.

Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?

Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.

What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?

Lego, so he can build a home.

Why do orphans go to church so much?

So they can have someone to call father.

I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.

A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.

A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?

A rock can break a glass ceiling.

Man: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.

Man: Oh, here's your rope.

Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!

My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.

Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂