Can jokes
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!
So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
What's the difference between Batman and Robin?
Batman can go to the store without robbin'.
If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing today? Did I have to text more today after dinner? I did text, and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠. Night is so nice 👍. I did not walk away, but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home, can you walk?
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.