Can jokes

I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.

What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.

in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind

What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?

"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?

A: By how much he's coffin.

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

What does my arm have in common with paper?

They both can be cut.

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

Two Indians are walking beside a river...

One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.

"The White Man was here."

"How can you tell?"

"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

Why is April the smartest month?

It can never be fooled.

Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.