Can jokes

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

'Cause they can never hit a homerun.

My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.

Hey, can I axe you a question?

My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.

I just want to say good morning to Gwen and everyone on this site. Have a nice day.

What if it's okay if someone can see my blue jokes, hello, bully, love, crazy, and Ariana jokes? Thanks!

See, I was always told puns are funny.

But I can see now they aren't punny.

What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?

Your hairline.

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

What kind of cake can an orphan not have?

Homemade.

He jizzes canned cheese.

Cool people: I can do anything.

Normal people: I can do nothing.

What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?

You can get on with a prostitute!

Boss: Can I do a reference check?

Me: I don’t have a...

*sensei appears*

Me: oh no

Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.

Boss: What's kiz...

Sensei:😈

Me: Oh no, here we go.

Sensei: Kizma AS-

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again? Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?

What can fly underwater?

A mosquito in a submarine.

Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

A: The pizza can support a family of four.

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now.

Your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

Hi guys, I’m so so so bored. My point is, does anyone have time for chatting tomorrow, around 12:00 or so on? Guest list included:

1 Gwen

2 water sharky

So on and so on.

We can talk about Reddit or just other things. Thank you. 😀