Can jokes
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again? Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Conversation between a little baby and a lady👇
👱LADY: Hi. 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What is your name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: How old are you? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What is your mom's name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What about your dad? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: Can you spell your name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: Can you spell GOD? 💂LIT.BABY: (spelling) G.O.D
If a little baby can spell GOD, what about you? Just spend some minutes and type "GOD" if [you] know [that you] will sleep and wake up tomorrow by GOD's grace, ignore if you are living by power. MINE: GOD 😃
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
What's the funniest joke ever?
Rapboat thinking he can rap.
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!
Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?
Answer: Loneliness.
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)