I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out
Did yk that you can die from laughing??? Well that’s why I laugh so much
I downloaded fruit ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag ? A. She can taste it on her brothers cock.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
Do you know why i wish grass was emo, so it can cut itself.
By the way, this joke is easily found on Google, this was not created by me, I just have not seen it in these fat jokes so I thought I'd say it.
Doctor: I diagnoss you with obesitiy. Patient: It runs in the family. Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me "Yeah I can read braille". So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read "Screw you, asshole"
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the Doctor's office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Incest. A game the whole family can play
I can hear the whole world booing me
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom. The "p" is silent.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What can an Olympic runner do that hitler cant. Finish a race
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim
