Can jokes
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.