Can jokes
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Memes
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
How can Batman defeat the Joker? A: With a handful of sleeping pills.
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.