Can jokes
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
Why can’t you sell nans, but you can sell zebras?
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.