Can jokes

Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.

Can I ask you a question? Nut now!

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?

One you can unscrew.

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.

Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!

Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What thing can an orphan do best?

Stay at home alone.

If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."