Can jokes
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.
I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.
Wanna play dolls?
I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.