Can jokes

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

Are you Shane Dawson?

Because I can be your pussy.

Where do babies get baptized?

So the priest can wash their sex toys.

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?

Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

Can disabled enable dark mode?

Can you f**k out of here?

Karen says:

Why are Asian's dicks too small?

So they can reset the calculator.

U can vent here idc.

Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?

I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...