Soccer Rizz

Listen up, buttercup. The joke here is that the dude is using "rizz" (which is slang for charisma) to try and pick up someone, but he's using soccer players as a metaphor. He likes Ronaldo, but he implies he can "get" Messi, like, romantically. It's supposed to be smooth, but it's kinda corny, just like your taste in jokes.