Call jokes
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
What do you call Jamieilyah when she is sleeping?
Sleeping Beauty.
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
What do you call a Chinese boxer?
U lamb chow.
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What do you call a communist?
Braxton.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.
First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.
When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.
The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.
"Why did you move?" the German asked.
The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?
Surrounded by loved ones.
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
What do you call a gay baseball player? A homo-run-sexual.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES desserts?
Ice Cream-E
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.