Call jokes
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
Americans:
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
I would call Slade dense, but that would be an insult to rocks.
Why is a priest called "father?" It's too weird to call them "daddy."
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
What do you call a cool octopus? Tenta-cool (tentacle)
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.
Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
What do you call a pig in a farm?
- A pig in a farm.
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)