Call jokes
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT.
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
What do you call a train that carries glue?
A glue-glue train!
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!
Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?
A: My sister.
What do you call a gay grenade?
A fragette.
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
What do you call Mario?
Bros.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What do you call a communist?
Braxton.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.
First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.
When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.
The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.
"Why did you move?" the German asked.
The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.