Call jokes

What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.

What do you call a not potty trained human?

Amber Heard.

Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?

I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”

What do you call finding half of a worm?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.

Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.

Orphans: Going 180.

I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

What do you call Cyanne when she first wakes up? Nanny McPhee.

What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA

In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.

Why can't orphans call their friends?

Because they don't have a home phone!

The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.

What do you call staring stares?

Stares.

At school I am always called emo.

Little did they know that emos are wannabe goths.

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.

What do you call a horse that does karate?

A horse.

What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?

Panera fled.

What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.

Why do they call it Ovaltine?

The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it Roundtine.

What do you call a tire that is tired?

A tire, I guess. ❤️