Call jokes
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.
What do you call a racist community? America.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
What do you call an orphan running home?
He couldn't find home.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES space?
Snoop Star.
What do you call a rapper who can't swim?
A FLOATER!
What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?
Fly Guy