Call jokes
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
Because they can't call their parents.
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Why do you play Call of Duty?
I actually don't know.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Memes
Perfection
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
What do you call a man who can fly? A flying man.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
What do you call a man who offended an NFL player...
Odin Floyd.
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
I made this game called Ligma. Say it, "Ligma."
Lick my balls.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A self-portrait.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."