Call jokes
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
What do you call a lesbian? Me.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
What do you call an Asian? A stupid gook.
What would you call the previous president when he is having a bad day?
Donald Grump.
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?