Call jokes
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
lollll
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A self-portrait.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?
A self-me.
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
What did you call a school that got blown up?
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.