Call jokes
How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.
What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...
An abortion.
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
What do you call a guy with a sandwich?
A guy with a sandwich.
If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?
What do you call a Mexican door?
Dora.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.