Call jokes
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
What do you call a fish that can use a katana? A salmon-rai.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
Eminem-o the Great.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
What do you call someone without a body?
Nobody.
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.