Call jokes
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
They call me Juan, they call me Jose, but I'm Juan person.
What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
What do you call James, James?
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.