Call it jokes

What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!

What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.

What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?

A good start.

There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.

Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.

What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?

Panera fed.

Credit to RogueRobot for this one:

What does Panera sleep in?

Panera bed.

What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?

Alien vs Predator.

What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?

A spicket fence!

If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.

Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.

I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.

God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.

Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.

God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.

Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!

God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)

Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)

God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!

God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........

God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.

What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?

Panera Fred.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."

Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.

What does a pig call its dad... mom? 😂

What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?

Panera Shed.

What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?

Cooking the vegetables.

What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?

A waist of your time.