How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
How do you make a fruit punch? 🍎 You give it a pair of boxing gloves. 🥊
what was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
a pair of Ceasars.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play, The two-baaaa
What do a small pair of underpants and small dance room have in common no ballroom
Doctor , Doctor, I feel like a pair of Curtains ! what 's wrong with me! calm down calm down Just pull yourself together
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!
what did the shoe say to the other shoe?
nothing it was tied up in a other conversation
I got in trouble at school today bc I played the knife game with a pair of scissors but I couldn't flip them off bc I was missing that finger.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants???? A. A cock and a few hairs (hares)
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of tittys.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Dad joke Why does a dad gets more than a pair of socks at the golf course? Because of a hole in one
So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either....”
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they dont have another pair of Balls
