Business jokes
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
You are so white even Nippon Paint tried to sign you!
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
Q: Why don't Indians play soccer?
A: Because every time they're in the corner, they open a store.