Business jokes
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
What’s long and black?
The line at KFC.
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
Why can’t orphans go to McDonald’s? It’s a family company.
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place? Because he kneaded the dough!
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.
The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."
Why did KFC take orphan?
Because kids fattening center.
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.