Business jokes
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Memes
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?
McDonald's has a drive-thru.
You are so white even Nippon Paint tried to sign you!
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.