Business Jokes

So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.

When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!

I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!

Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?

Never mind, it was needle-ess.

Prostitutes remind me of chewese.

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."

I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.

The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.

Hi how are you busy busy today and I have to

What did 1 pay with at the store? A 1/4 ;)

Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.

This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."

Hello, I am Alan Shawn Feinstein. I would like to know who the owner of this website "worstjokesever.com" is.

I am interested in buying this website. Please respond to me in the comments or email me. Thank you, and keep doing good things.

Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."

Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?

A: IHOP.

Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.