Business jokes
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Memes
No shit lmao
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?
One's a drive-through and one's a fly-through.
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?
McDonald's has a drive-thru.
What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?
Panera Shed.
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?
Economy doesn't work.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
Why does Tesco like midgets?
Every little helps.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!